March 22, 2017
Now… this might come across as a surprise to those of you scrolling the internet for the best wedding planning advice out there, but, this is one of the most important pieces of advice we were given during engagement. Thank you @lucypethick who also said this was the best advice she was given!
Obviously, I don’t mean EVER.
When planning a wedding it is important to communicate with your spouse-to-be about your ideas and plans for the big day. However, it is very easy for the focus of every conversation to be about the wedding.
If this is you (this was me for sure!) you might feel exhausted already. Wedding planning can be stressful and exhausting, but it doesn’t have to be. One way to avoid this is by not talking about the wedding all the time. Here are a few ways we implemented this advice…
This might sound ridiculous, but it worked for us. We scheduled one hour over Skype (long distance engagement… woo) to talk about wedding plans and then we spent however long we had left talking with no agenda and just spending time together. Having a time limit made our conversations about the wedding more productive and less stressful because it was compartmentalized in a way and therefore allowed us to talk about other things- like the fact we were going to be living together as husband and wife in a few months! We also got through a lot more material than we would have if wedding planning talk trickled into our everyday conversation bit by bit. Overall, this was a great move for us.
Trying to make all of the decisions on our own and planning via Skype and Facebook Messenger was frustrating and exhausting at times. We quickly realized we couldn’t do it on our own and needed help! One example, I asked one of my bridesmaids to pick the bridesmaid dresses. I was lost for ideas and stressing about picking the right one, especially since every bridesmaid lived in a different state, city or COUNTRY so the dresses had to be ordered online! Giving this task to my bridesmaid was SUCH a relief and she found the perfect dress that complimented every girl. Hand off tasks- don’t be a control freak! Not only will this take a weight off your shoulders, it will free up your time to plan and talk about other things than the wedding!
Planning for your marriage is far more important than planning the wedding itself. Your engagement is a valuable time to get to know each other (yes, still) and deepen your relationship. Talk about expectations for married life. What will change? Read books together.* Talk with other married couples and gain wisdom from them. Schedule your conversations about wedding plans so your time is productive and stress-free. Hand-off tasks to people you trust so you have more time to plan for your marriage, not just the big day. And most of all, enjoy the process!
If you have any wedding planning/ marriage advice you want to share, send me a message!
*Boundaries In Marriage by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend is one of the best books Joel and I read during our engagement and we would recommend it to anyone.
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